Post by malicia on Jan 9, 2009 21:29:41 GMT -5
The Wolf and the princess
a twisted fairy tale from Marie
Once upon a time live a little girl who worn a little red cloak
everyday. So much that everyone called her red ridding hood! One day, her
grandmother fell ill and ridding hood was to bring her a basket of cookies, bread
and butter. She went out of her house and went trough the woods... Now, as the story
goes, she was to meet up with the big bad wolf and he was supposed to plan to eat
the little girl. Well, today the wolf wasn`t there and Ridding hood made it fine to
her grandmother's house just fine!
Now our tale doesn`t end here, after all, it`s not about Ridding Hood at all,
it's about the wolf himself! The wolf`s name was Andrew, I know, cute no?
Anyways, Andrew was on his way to work today after leaving the lair of the big bad wolves
to go on and get ready to go meet up with Ridding Hood, since, that's how the story goes!
But this morning, something else happend. Something that was completely out of the ordinary!
Something that would simply be unconsiderable!
So Andrew was sneaking trough the bush, past Snow White's house and left from the
gingerbread house of the mean witch from Hansel and Gretel. Deep into the woods to regain
the trail to grandmother's house. Trough the little clearing, covered in flowers, the wolf found
something out of the ordinary, a young princess was laying there, her dress was dirty and shredded,
she seemed to have fallen from the cliff that was over the clearing. Andrew looked over a bit
confused and gave the princess a nudge "Excuse me miss, but I think you`re in the wrong story...
Hello?" he insisted a bit but the princess wouldn`t wake up. The wolf grabbed the young lady, slung
her over his shoulder and brought her back to the bad wolves lair! He got her to his bed and
tucked her in. A council was called with the other wolves. They all wondered where this princess was
from. Could she be sleeping beauty? Of course not! The girl had red hair and Beauty was blonde!
Like most princesses by the way... Except for Snow White, she has black hair.
That was confusing for the least. She was a little odd too, her dress was purple and blue
instead of the usual yellows, pink and white! They couldn't figure it out at all!
The wolves decided to leave Andrew to take care of her, make sure she wakes up and
once she was good to go, to send her back to her own tale!
The little princess slept, peacefully in a bed of straw with a bear skin blanket,
looking all happy in spite of being injured.
Now, if the wolves aren't the bad guys here, who was? The bad guy this time
came in form of a prince! Perfect in every way! Except for the brains of a lobotomized goldfish.
He was ridding his trusty steed trough the land! Across the mountains and over the plains, swimming
trough the swamps and lakes in quest of finding his darling princess Melissa. So who was Melissa?
Melissa was the one napping quietly in the wolves lair. Now, mister idiot prince was supposed to marry
him and she had refused too after she was informed that she was to have a happy ever after with
someone that needed a servant to clean between his toes and take the wax out of his ears.
Melissa wanted nothing to do with the prince, even tough most girls swooned at his every step!
Fact was, he was renouned to woo a girl one day and send her packing in the morning. Not very loyal.
But he was determined to find what was rightfully given to him, a princess which would give him
another spiffy kingdom to rule... Twice the gold and riches and to top it, a wife that wouldn`t have
the right to complain. "Onwards trusty steed! We need to find my darling Melissa before... Something bad happens
to her and we lose all these lovely things promised to me... I love myself!" Chauvinist? Maybe...
Pig? Possibly.... Narcistic? Most definately!
Back to our princess while our idiot wanders for a bit, trying to find his way out of a rocky
desert with no map or compass. Melissa, after a few days, finally woke up. She woke up to find a very large grey wolf
grinning with all of his teeth and big yellow eyes! Face it, poor Andrew was supposed to be scary, seriously, he`s
from the big bad wolf society. The poor girl was screaming her lungs out when she saw the wolf.
Trying to run away and struggling out of her blanket. Andrew scratched his chin and told her
"Your ankle is twisted pretty badly and you haven't been able to eat and drink for a few days. You should stay here
where it's warm and safe, right?" the princess was having issues understanding the wolf... "But,
you are a wolf no? Aren't wolves supposed to eat people?" Andrew sat himself on the bed of straw
as she settled down. "Well, you see, it's our job to be the vilains, eat little girls and pigs.
If we didn't, stories would be pretty lame no? What story are you from by the way and what's your name?
Maybe I can take you back and you can return to your normal life?" The princess hesitated a bit,
then she explained what happend to her. "Oh, sorry, yes, my story... It actually sucks. Someone
somewhere is writting the worse bed time story ever, I swear, I'm supposed to marry this prince right?
Well, I don't know who thinks those, but the idiot can't even pluck his own nose hair. He's lazy,
stupid and can't even dress himself! All he wants his the end of the story where he gets my dad's things
for marrying me. I didn't like it, so I ran away. Then I kept hearing wolves howling, ogres growling,
goblins giggling... I figured I had gotten myself in the wrong end of the woods and scared, I fell
off that cliff." she sighed, looking quite miserable. The wolf was listening to her tale quietly and
then asked "I don't suppose you want to go back to your own tale right?" the question was a bit
ridiculous after hearing her. "No, I don't really care for going back at all. He's probably angry
that I left and he's probably looking for me. I almost wish that he'd get stuck in a tar pit in a
dinosaur tale somewhere." she winced. The prospect of going back? Nope, she doesn't want to at all!
Andrew of course wouldn't send Melissa to such a unhappy ending. He tought for a little bit and finally
came to an idea. "Well princess Melissa, if Snow white can live with seven dwarves, you can live with a pack
of wolves no? It seems like the most sensitive solution at the moment. Prince not so charming
probably will not want to fight the bad wolf council. Even tough he is an idiot, I think he might
know when he falls into a fight he can't win... Seriously, look at us! We eat pigs, grannies, little girls
and princesses for a living! Sounds like a good idea to you princess?" The girl was hesitating a bit
but the wolves never gave her a reason to fear them so far.
The days passed, Melissa was quite happy. Each time Andrew went to work, he brought back Ridding Hood's
basket back for her! Ridding Hood even started stuffing extra goodies for the princess in the basket! The evil witch
in the gingerbread house brought her candy all the time and she had the occasional teap party with Snow White
and her evil step mother when they were off the clock. See? Characters of a story are free to do as pleased
when their tales are not being read. Life was just so much fun now! The wolves were wonderful to her!
Andrew had even gave up his room to let Melissa have a nice comfy spot to sleep in. They even took a good liking to
eachother. Andrew seemed to enjoy taking her to pick flowers, of course at night, wolves are after all nocturnal.
The bad wolves lair was now a bit more decorated and comfortable now that they had such a nice
princess living with them.
Durring those months, where the princess was happy, prince not so charming fell into a tar pit in a dino
story, fallen off a cliff, searched the seas, got caught by pirates and mauled by bears as he tried to sneak Goldy Locks away!
See, the idiot had forgotten what Melissa looked like and was trying to snatch every princess he found!
Which had earned him claws, brooms, frying pans and water buckets amongst other things! He had accidently cut Raponzel's
hair and got Rumplestillskin chewed by an alligator... how? Who knows! But he did manage to ruin
good tales here and there! It's defeated, bumped and bruised and very ungroomed that he ended up in the woods
of Ridding Hood. On a day where Hood was going back home, the prince tried to snag her basket of goodies! After
a few slaps from the little girl and her yelling at him "These goodies are not for you! You horrible excuse for
a theif!" the prince seemed a bit confused and pumped his chest and took the stupidest hero pose ever "I am Prince
of a far away kingdom in search of my lost fiancee! I am of regal blood and..." The poor bloke didn't have a chance
to finish when Ridding Hood told him a bit rudely "Oh put a sock in it, you're a character in a story like everyone else,
now if you don`t mind, I'm off the clock and would like to go have dinner with Melissa at the wolves."
and off she went, trough the forest, trough the clearing, off to the wolves lair. The prince flinched as
Hood mentioned Melissa, he looked trough his note book and raised a brow "Oh, right, my fiancee's name is Melissa..."
It took him a few moments to realise that following Hood would get him to his princess. He stood there
stupidly, thinking so hard that smoke came out of his ears and the smell of cooking ham came out with it!
Then it dawned on him! "I shall follow her!" he cheered! But Hood was long gone, trough the forest, trough the clearing
and passed Snow White's and the evil witch. The prince tough took a wrong turn, ended up on seaside and had
to ask directions from the little mermaid. Then he went back trough the woods, trough the clearing, passed Snow White's house
and the evil witch. That`s when he found it. Outside was Melissa, Hood, Snow white, the evil witch and of course Andrew, sitting
down and having a meal!
He approached them and grabbed princess Melissa by the wrist and tried to drag her away! Of course, the prince failed to
notice the half a dozen wolves and angry women watching the scene. The girls shouted in unisson 'You can't do that!"
While the wolves got closer! That's when the prince took his sword to Melissa's throat "You see, the girl belongs to me, all
she owns belongs to me and you can't do a thing about it!" Andrew didn't like that one bit. Of course,
he had nursed her back to health, took good care of her and in return, she had always been the sweetest to him!
Ah! The big bad wolf was in love with a princess! And he didn't want that sort of creep having his hands on the girl
he so lovingly cared for. Everyone was frozen in place, in fear that the evil prince would harm her. But Andrew, Andrew is a wolf!
And he is king of that forest! He snuck behind the trees and sat an ambush, making a discrete gesture for his
buddies to push prince smelly back. The fat one from the three pigs tried to negotiate while approaching closer,
"Hey, dude, that's not cool. You can't hurt a lady like that man. Plus, you do realise that if you off her,
you lose everything right? Plus it doesn't look good in court for a prince to kill his princess."
The prince was backing away, still holding Melissa captive, once again, the smoked ham smell came out from his
ears as he was trying to process the wolf's information. "I swear, I'll kill her! Don't think I won't err...."
Once the stupid prince was in the shaddyer parts of the woods, Andrew snuck behind the tree without being heard
and SNAP! Prince stupid's head was missing and Andrew would let out a loud burp! "Oh dear, I'll have stomach burn
for a week from this one.... Too much ear wax." The little squabble was over and the prince was dead on the floor!
Of course, this story must have a happy ending right? So the princess turned around after the initial
shock of the body with no head. Andrew smirked with all of his teeth "What? Seriously, what else did you expect?
I am the big bad wolf!" Melissa found that amusing and threw herself at Andrew's neck! Covering him in kisses!
Yes! You heard me! The princess was kissing the bad wolf! It didn't take long for the mess to be cleaned up
either. Andrew unfortunately, now that the princess wasn't in danger anymore, had to return Melissa back
to her father, where she was received with a shutting door and a very cold "I have no daughter! My daughter would
frolic with the bad guys and get her husband to be killed!". Melissa was shocked and cried a long time,
but the wolf took her back to the lair after a long trip trough the forest with his paw holding her hand
"My home is your home Melissa, if you want to stay with us.... With me...". Well, with nowhere to go
and a really loving and kind bad wolf watching over you, it's hard to say no right?
So finally, the story ends with a wedding in the woods and a little later on, the birth of the werewolf
race!
a twisted fairy tale from Marie
Once upon a time live a little girl who worn a little red cloak
everyday. So much that everyone called her red ridding hood! One day, her
grandmother fell ill and ridding hood was to bring her a basket of cookies, bread
and butter. She went out of her house and went trough the woods... Now, as the story
goes, she was to meet up with the big bad wolf and he was supposed to plan to eat
the little girl. Well, today the wolf wasn`t there and Ridding hood made it fine to
her grandmother's house just fine!
Now our tale doesn`t end here, after all, it`s not about Ridding Hood at all,
it's about the wolf himself! The wolf`s name was Andrew, I know, cute no?
Anyways, Andrew was on his way to work today after leaving the lair of the big bad wolves
to go on and get ready to go meet up with Ridding Hood, since, that's how the story goes!
But this morning, something else happend. Something that was completely out of the ordinary!
Something that would simply be unconsiderable!
So Andrew was sneaking trough the bush, past Snow White's house and left from the
gingerbread house of the mean witch from Hansel and Gretel. Deep into the woods to regain
the trail to grandmother's house. Trough the little clearing, covered in flowers, the wolf found
something out of the ordinary, a young princess was laying there, her dress was dirty and shredded,
she seemed to have fallen from the cliff that was over the clearing. Andrew looked over a bit
confused and gave the princess a nudge "Excuse me miss, but I think you`re in the wrong story...
Hello?" he insisted a bit but the princess wouldn`t wake up. The wolf grabbed the young lady, slung
her over his shoulder and brought her back to the bad wolves lair! He got her to his bed and
tucked her in. A council was called with the other wolves. They all wondered where this princess was
from. Could she be sleeping beauty? Of course not! The girl had red hair and Beauty was blonde!
Like most princesses by the way... Except for Snow White, she has black hair.
That was confusing for the least. She was a little odd too, her dress was purple and blue
instead of the usual yellows, pink and white! They couldn't figure it out at all!
The wolves decided to leave Andrew to take care of her, make sure she wakes up and
once she was good to go, to send her back to her own tale!
The little princess slept, peacefully in a bed of straw with a bear skin blanket,
looking all happy in spite of being injured.
Now, if the wolves aren't the bad guys here, who was? The bad guy this time
came in form of a prince! Perfect in every way! Except for the brains of a lobotomized goldfish.
He was ridding his trusty steed trough the land! Across the mountains and over the plains, swimming
trough the swamps and lakes in quest of finding his darling princess Melissa. So who was Melissa?
Melissa was the one napping quietly in the wolves lair. Now, mister idiot prince was supposed to marry
him and she had refused too after she was informed that she was to have a happy ever after with
someone that needed a servant to clean between his toes and take the wax out of his ears.
Melissa wanted nothing to do with the prince, even tough most girls swooned at his every step!
Fact was, he was renouned to woo a girl one day and send her packing in the morning. Not very loyal.
But he was determined to find what was rightfully given to him, a princess which would give him
another spiffy kingdom to rule... Twice the gold and riches and to top it, a wife that wouldn`t have
the right to complain. "Onwards trusty steed! We need to find my darling Melissa before... Something bad happens
to her and we lose all these lovely things promised to me... I love myself!" Chauvinist? Maybe...
Pig? Possibly.... Narcistic? Most definately!
Back to our princess while our idiot wanders for a bit, trying to find his way out of a rocky
desert with no map or compass. Melissa, after a few days, finally woke up. She woke up to find a very large grey wolf
grinning with all of his teeth and big yellow eyes! Face it, poor Andrew was supposed to be scary, seriously, he`s
from the big bad wolf society. The poor girl was screaming her lungs out when she saw the wolf.
Trying to run away and struggling out of her blanket. Andrew scratched his chin and told her
"Your ankle is twisted pretty badly and you haven't been able to eat and drink for a few days. You should stay here
where it's warm and safe, right?" the princess was having issues understanding the wolf... "But,
you are a wolf no? Aren't wolves supposed to eat people?" Andrew sat himself on the bed of straw
as she settled down. "Well, you see, it's our job to be the vilains, eat little girls and pigs.
If we didn't, stories would be pretty lame no? What story are you from by the way and what's your name?
Maybe I can take you back and you can return to your normal life?" The princess hesitated a bit,
then she explained what happend to her. "Oh, sorry, yes, my story... It actually sucks. Someone
somewhere is writting the worse bed time story ever, I swear, I'm supposed to marry this prince right?
Well, I don't know who thinks those, but the idiot can't even pluck his own nose hair. He's lazy,
stupid and can't even dress himself! All he wants his the end of the story where he gets my dad's things
for marrying me. I didn't like it, so I ran away. Then I kept hearing wolves howling, ogres growling,
goblins giggling... I figured I had gotten myself in the wrong end of the woods and scared, I fell
off that cliff." she sighed, looking quite miserable. The wolf was listening to her tale quietly and
then asked "I don't suppose you want to go back to your own tale right?" the question was a bit
ridiculous after hearing her. "No, I don't really care for going back at all. He's probably angry
that I left and he's probably looking for me. I almost wish that he'd get stuck in a tar pit in a
dinosaur tale somewhere." she winced. The prospect of going back? Nope, she doesn't want to at all!
Andrew of course wouldn't send Melissa to such a unhappy ending. He tought for a little bit and finally
came to an idea. "Well princess Melissa, if Snow white can live with seven dwarves, you can live with a pack
of wolves no? It seems like the most sensitive solution at the moment. Prince not so charming
probably will not want to fight the bad wolf council. Even tough he is an idiot, I think he might
know when he falls into a fight he can't win... Seriously, look at us! We eat pigs, grannies, little girls
and princesses for a living! Sounds like a good idea to you princess?" The girl was hesitating a bit
but the wolves never gave her a reason to fear them so far.
The days passed, Melissa was quite happy. Each time Andrew went to work, he brought back Ridding Hood's
basket back for her! Ridding Hood even started stuffing extra goodies for the princess in the basket! The evil witch
in the gingerbread house brought her candy all the time and she had the occasional teap party with Snow White
and her evil step mother when they were off the clock. See? Characters of a story are free to do as pleased
when their tales are not being read. Life was just so much fun now! The wolves were wonderful to her!
Andrew had even gave up his room to let Melissa have a nice comfy spot to sleep in. They even took a good liking to
eachother. Andrew seemed to enjoy taking her to pick flowers, of course at night, wolves are after all nocturnal.
The bad wolves lair was now a bit more decorated and comfortable now that they had such a nice
princess living with them.
Durring those months, where the princess was happy, prince not so charming fell into a tar pit in a dino
story, fallen off a cliff, searched the seas, got caught by pirates and mauled by bears as he tried to sneak Goldy Locks away!
See, the idiot had forgotten what Melissa looked like and was trying to snatch every princess he found!
Which had earned him claws, brooms, frying pans and water buckets amongst other things! He had accidently cut Raponzel's
hair and got Rumplestillskin chewed by an alligator... how? Who knows! But he did manage to ruin
good tales here and there! It's defeated, bumped and bruised and very ungroomed that he ended up in the woods
of Ridding Hood. On a day where Hood was going back home, the prince tried to snag her basket of goodies! After
a few slaps from the little girl and her yelling at him "These goodies are not for you! You horrible excuse for
a theif!" the prince seemed a bit confused and pumped his chest and took the stupidest hero pose ever "I am Prince
of a far away kingdom in search of my lost fiancee! I am of regal blood and..." The poor bloke didn't have a chance
to finish when Ridding Hood told him a bit rudely "Oh put a sock in it, you're a character in a story like everyone else,
now if you don`t mind, I'm off the clock and would like to go have dinner with Melissa at the wolves."
and off she went, trough the forest, trough the clearing, off to the wolves lair. The prince flinched as
Hood mentioned Melissa, he looked trough his note book and raised a brow "Oh, right, my fiancee's name is Melissa..."
It took him a few moments to realise that following Hood would get him to his princess. He stood there
stupidly, thinking so hard that smoke came out of his ears and the smell of cooking ham came out with it!
Then it dawned on him! "I shall follow her!" he cheered! But Hood was long gone, trough the forest, trough the clearing
and passed Snow White's and the evil witch. The prince tough took a wrong turn, ended up on seaside and had
to ask directions from the little mermaid. Then he went back trough the woods, trough the clearing, passed Snow White's house
and the evil witch. That`s when he found it. Outside was Melissa, Hood, Snow white, the evil witch and of course Andrew, sitting
down and having a meal!
He approached them and grabbed princess Melissa by the wrist and tried to drag her away! Of course, the prince failed to
notice the half a dozen wolves and angry women watching the scene. The girls shouted in unisson 'You can't do that!"
While the wolves got closer! That's when the prince took his sword to Melissa's throat "You see, the girl belongs to me, all
she owns belongs to me and you can't do a thing about it!" Andrew didn't like that one bit. Of course,
he had nursed her back to health, took good care of her and in return, she had always been the sweetest to him!
Ah! The big bad wolf was in love with a princess! And he didn't want that sort of creep having his hands on the girl
he so lovingly cared for. Everyone was frozen in place, in fear that the evil prince would harm her. But Andrew, Andrew is a wolf!
And he is king of that forest! He snuck behind the trees and sat an ambush, making a discrete gesture for his
buddies to push prince smelly back. The fat one from the three pigs tried to negotiate while approaching closer,
"Hey, dude, that's not cool. You can't hurt a lady like that man. Plus, you do realise that if you off her,
you lose everything right? Plus it doesn't look good in court for a prince to kill his princess."
The prince was backing away, still holding Melissa captive, once again, the smoked ham smell came out from his
ears as he was trying to process the wolf's information. "I swear, I'll kill her! Don't think I won't err...."
Once the stupid prince was in the shaddyer parts of the woods, Andrew snuck behind the tree without being heard
and SNAP! Prince stupid's head was missing and Andrew would let out a loud burp! "Oh dear, I'll have stomach burn
for a week from this one.... Too much ear wax." The little squabble was over and the prince was dead on the floor!
Of course, this story must have a happy ending right? So the princess turned around after the initial
shock of the body with no head. Andrew smirked with all of his teeth "What? Seriously, what else did you expect?
I am the big bad wolf!" Melissa found that amusing and threw herself at Andrew's neck! Covering him in kisses!
Yes! You heard me! The princess was kissing the bad wolf! It didn't take long for the mess to be cleaned up
either. Andrew unfortunately, now that the princess wasn't in danger anymore, had to return Melissa back
to her father, where she was received with a shutting door and a very cold "I have no daughter! My daughter would
frolic with the bad guys and get her husband to be killed!". Melissa was shocked and cried a long time,
but the wolf took her back to the lair after a long trip trough the forest with his paw holding her hand
"My home is your home Melissa, if you want to stay with us.... With me...". Well, with nowhere to go
and a really loving and kind bad wolf watching over you, it's hard to say no right?
So finally, the story ends with a wedding in the woods and a little later on, the birth of the werewolf
race!