Post by malicia on Jan 10, 2009 1:11:33 GMT -5
12 lambs
a twisted fairy tale by Marie
Once upon a time lived a mother sheep with her twelve little lambs.
Now, from any other story, you`ll hear that the wolf ate the father, but fact was
after twelve lambs to feed and a nagging wife to take care off, he had enought
and took off for New Zeland. Now the mother sheep was stuck with twelve kids
to feed and not enought money to pull trough.
One day, Mommy sheep had to go to market to buy food, vegetables, eggs and
flour and left her children at home. She wisely warned all of them "Please my children,
once I am out of the house, please lock the door carefully, twice. Lock the knob and
lock the deadlock." All the lambs agreed to to be good and lock the door! She kissed them each goodbye
and grabbed her basket and her hat, her umbrella and her grocery sack!
Once out, she waited until she heard the lambs lock the doors and went on
her merry way! She talked to the neighbours and talked to the miller, purchased her flour
and her eggs!
Now, being a single mother of twelve little rascals is hard, so once she was done her
shopping, she went down to the town's little cafe for a cup of mocha, sitting quietly in hopes
of finding a date maybe... See, the poor sheep was getting lonely and mostly overwhelmed,
aspecially with some of her children hitting their teens. They were rowdy and mouthy and she
figured a good solid man could help her keep everything under control! Truth was, she was
very tired of the older ones taping their younger siblings to the walls... See, the glue
of the tape was peeling off the paint! So she sat and sipped and sipped and sat, but no
good prospect ever came. It`s not that mother sheep wasn't good looking, it's just that none was
brave enought to take a woman with twelve kids! The poor sheep looked at her coffee cup saddly.
She really didn't feel like going home no more and face the children and what havoc they would
have caused durring her abscence.
And what havoc they were causing indeed! The little ones were... Again, taped to the walls!
Except for one, that ran and hid in the grandfather clock durring the commotion! The tables had all been flipped,
the sauce pans were glues to the ceiling. Feather pillows had been gutted and used on one with honey for good
old western tar and feathering. Windows got broken and the toilet got clogged. The lambs were running
just wild in the house! The older male had plugged in a radio and was busting heavy metal to a deafening volume!
Seriously, the lambs were just going crazy, yelling, screaming, beating eachother up! While the littlelest one
was cowering in fear in the clock. There seemed to be no stopping them! Neighbours knocked on the door,
but for once, only because it was convienient for them, the lambs kept the door locked! One of the girls was running
an insane long distance bill on the phone while the older boy got into the liquor cabinet.
Of course, one of the neighbours, an older old fashionned wolf was getting very sick of that. He tried
covering his ears, but the chair that landed on his lawn was the last straw. He put on his pants and put down his
pipe. Put on his glasses and his shoes. He walked to next door and rasped on the door, not once,
not twice, but three times while yelling "You damned kids! You better quiet down or I'll comme in and teach you a lesson!
It's not because your mother's gone that you can raise hell!". But the lambs laughed and called out
"you're not our mother, you can't get in! We locked the door twice and no big bad wolf can hurt us!
You're just an old mutt with no wife or kids! You'll die alone and miserable! And you smell like garbage and
cat food!". The older lambs that weren't glued to the walls were giggling... Even the younger ones were amused!
But not the smallest lamb, still hidding in the clock! He almost wished that the wolf would come in and eat
all of his siblings! They were so mean and cruel. Well, fortunately for our wishing coward, the old
wolf was as stubborn as a mule! He turned around grumbling something about them damned kids and made his way
to the flour mill.
Once there, growling and snarling, the miller got scared of the wolf and pleaded him to not eat him!
"Please mister wolf, I have a wife and two kids to take care of! I can't die and leave them like that ram left his wife
over at the Sheep house! Why don't you eat the lambs instead? They'd make a much tender meal."
The wolf was looking at the miller with a quirked brow and walked over to him, slapping him upside the head!
"I`m a proud wolf, not a bloody garbage disposal unit!" he growled to the man. He threw a few dollars to him
to pay for a bag of flour. Storming back to the house where chaos reigned! The wolf hid himself in front of the door
to execute his crafty plan! He sunk his paw into the bag of flour until it was all white and then rasped on the door
once more. Not once, not twice, but three times! The lambs stood silent for a moment, dreading what was going to be said!
Mother had been gone for a while and they had figured she was comming back home. The wolf changed his voice
"Children, it's mother, please unlock the door and help me put away the groceries." the eldest had a doubt
after all the knocks on the door they had and shouted "Oh yeah? Prove it!" To which the wolf placed his
white paw trough the mail slot. Most of the lambs were reluctant to obey the voice, but the small one emerged
from the clock and ran to the door, unlocking it before any of the other lambs could stop him. "Mommy mommy!"
the young lamb cried... "The others were so mean mommy! They made a mess again mommy!" But when the door opend
it was the wolf. Foaming at the mouth and teeth bared. "You damned blasted kids have done enought!".
The wolf was grabbing them one by one by the scruff of their necks! the oldest first. Bending him over his knee
and handing out to each of the troublemakers a spanking of a life time! They tried to hide, but the wolf's nose guided
him to each and everyone of them. He then got the ones stuck to the walls unstuck and gave them a stern warning growl
and the little one, the smallest of them all, was handed a book. The five younglings were sat on the sofa with a threat
"You all stay nice and quiet or you get my belt as well!" the lambs huddled togheter and nodded quietly
to the mean wolf. He even turned on the television for them to watch mister Rodgers! The older lambs that caused all the
trouble and broke so many things were put to work in fixing the damage done. The wolf was standing and watching
them, giving a growl and a snap of his belt in his paw every time one tried to complain!
By the time mother Sheep had came back home crying, she found her house, altough with broken windows and more peeled
paint, was in a good shape. All the younglings were quietly reading different books and the older ones at the
table doing their homework! She couldn't beleive what she was seeing! In the corner of the livingroom,
on a cozy chair, was sitting a large old wolf, smoking a pipe quietly while reading the newspaper.
Mother Sheep was amazed! Surprised and sad at the same time. She fell on the floor crying. Since her husband had
left, the kids had been too much for her to handle by herself and now they were acting like angels!
The wolf got up and patted her on the shoulder, then hugged her. All was fine.
Mister Wolf and misses Sheep decided to go on a few dates. They had a whole lot of fun actually.
Going to bingo and picnics! The kids even liked mister Wolf, he was there, unlike their no good father.
He even paid for a lawyer for misses Sheep to make Mister Ram pay his child support! Which he hadn't been
doing at all. In fact, Mister Wolf and misses Sheep got along so well and loved eachother so much that they got
married. The kids grew up much more disciplined and respectuous and they ended up moving into a much needed
bigger house! Since misses now Wolf, the sheep was now expecting a thirteenth child!
a twisted fairy tale by Marie
Once upon a time lived a mother sheep with her twelve little lambs.
Now, from any other story, you`ll hear that the wolf ate the father, but fact was
after twelve lambs to feed and a nagging wife to take care off, he had enought
and took off for New Zeland. Now the mother sheep was stuck with twelve kids
to feed and not enought money to pull trough.
One day, Mommy sheep had to go to market to buy food, vegetables, eggs and
flour and left her children at home. She wisely warned all of them "Please my children,
once I am out of the house, please lock the door carefully, twice. Lock the knob and
lock the deadlock." All the lambs agreed to to be good and lock the door! She kissed them each goodbye
and grabbed her basket and her hat, her umbrella and her grocery sack!
Once out, she waited until she heard the lambs lock the doors and went on
her merry way! She talked to the neighbours and talked to the miller, purchased her flour
and her eggs!
Now, being a single mother of twelve little rascals is hard, so once she was done her
shopping, she went down to the town's little cafe for a cup of mocha, sitting quietly in hopes
of finding a date maybe... See, the poor sheep was getting lonely and mostly overwhelmed,
aspecially with some of her children hitting their teens. They were rowdy and mouthy and she
figured a good solid man could help her keep everything under control! Truth was, she was
very tired of the older ones taping their younger siblings to the walls... See, the glue
of the tape was peeling off the paint! So she sat and sipped and sipped and sat, but no
good prospect ever came. It`s not that mother sheep wasn't good looking, it's just that none was
brave enought to take a woman with twelve kids! The poor sheep looked at her coffee cup saddly.
She really didn't feel like going home no more and face the children and what havoc they would
have caused durring her abscence.
And what havoc they were causing indeed! The little ones were... Again, taped to the walls!
Except for one, that ran and hid in the grandfather clock durring the commotion! The tables had all been flipped,
the sauce pans were glues to the ceiling. Feather pillows had been gutted and used on one with honey for good
old western tar and feathering. Windows got broken and the toilet got clogged. The lambs were running
just wild in the house! The older male had plugged in a radio and was busting heavy metal to a deafening volume!
Seriously, the lambs were just going crazy, yelling, screaming, beating eachother up! While the littlelest one
was cowering in fear in the clock. There seemed to be no stopping them! Neighbours knocked on the door,
but for once, only because it was convienient for them, the lambs kept the door locked! One of the girls was running
an insane long distance bill on the phone while the older boy got into the liquor cabinet.
Of course, one of the neighbours, an older old fashionned wolf was getting very sick of that. He tried
covering his ears, but the chair that landed on his lawn was the last straw. He put on his pants and put down his
pipe. Put on his glasses and his shoes. He walked to next door and rasped on the door, not once,
not twice, but three times while yelling "You damned kids! You better quiet down or I'll comme in and teach you a lesson!
It's not because your mother's gone that you can raise hell!". But the lambs laughed and called out
"you're not our mother, you can't get in! We locked the door twice and no big bad wolf can hurt us!
You're just an old mutt with no wife or kids! You'll die alone and miserable! And you smell like garbage and
cat food!". The older lambs that weren't glued to the walls were giggling... Even the younger ones were amused!
But not the smallest lamb, still hidding in the clock! He almost wished that the wolf would come in and eat
all of his siblings! They were so mean and cruel. Well, fortunately for our wishing coward, the old
wolf was as stubborn as a mule! He turned around grumbling something about them damned kids and made his way
to the flour mill.
Once there, growling and snarling, the miller got scared of the wolf and pleaded him to not eat him!
"Please mister wolf, I have a wife and two kids to take care of! I can't die and leave them like that ram left his wife
over at the Sheep house! Why don't you eat the lambs instead? They'd make a much tender meal."
The wolf was looking at the miller with a quirked brow and walked over to him, slapping him upside the head!
"I`m a proud wolf, not a bloody garbage disposal unit!" he growled to the man. He threw a few dollars to him
to pay for a bag of flour. Storming back to the house where chaos reigned! The wolf hid himself in front of the door
to execute his crafty plan! He sunk his paw into the bag of flour until it was all white and then rasped on the door
once more. Not once, not twice, but three times! The lambs stood silent for a moment, dreading what was going to be said!
Mother had been gone for a while and they had figured she was comming back home. The wolf changed his voice
"Children, it's mother, please unlock the door and help me put away the groceries." the eldest had a doubt
after all the knocks on the door they had and shouted "Oh yeah? Prove it!" To which the wolf placed his
white paw trough the mail slot. Most of the lambs were reluctant to obey the voice, but the small one emerged
from the clock and ran to the door, unlocking it before any of the other lambs could stop him. "Mommy mommy!"
the young lamb cried... "The others were so mean mommy! They made a mess again mommy!" But when the door opend
it was the wolf. Foaming at the mouth and teeth bared. "You damned blasted kids have done enought!".
The wolf was grabbing them one by one by the scruff of their necks! the oldest first. Bending him over his knee
and handing out to each of the troublemakers a spanking of a life time! They tried to hide, but the wolf's nose guided
him to each and everyone of them. He then got the ones stuck to the walls unstuck and gave them a stern warning growl
and the little one, the smallest of them all, was handed a book. The five younglings were sat on the sofa with a threat
"You all stay nice and quiet or you get my belt as well!" the lambs huddled togheter and nodded quietly
to the mean wolf. He even turned on the television for them to watch mister Rodgers! The older lambs that caused all the
trouble and broke so many things were put to work in fixing the damage done. The wolf was standing and watching
them, giving a growl and a snap of his belt in his paw every time one tried to complain!
By the time mother Sheep had came back home crying, she found her house, altough with broken windows and more peeled
paint, was in a good shape. All the younglings were quietly reading different books and the older ones at the
table doing their homework! She couldn't beleive what she was seeing! In the corner of the livingroom,
on a cozy chair, was sitting a large old wolf, smoking a pipe quietly while reading the newspaper.
Mother Sheep was amazed! Surprised and sad at the same time. She fell on the floor crying. Since her husband had
left, the kids had been too much for her to handle by herself and now they were acting like angels!
The wolf got up and patted her on the shoulder, then hugged her. All was fine.
Mister Wolf and misses Sheep decided to go on a few dates. They had a whole lot of fun actually.
Going to bingo and picnics! The kids even liked mister Wolf, he was there, unlike their no good father.
He even paid for a lawyer for misses Sheep to make Mister Ram pay his child support! Which he hadn't been
doing at all. In fact, Mister Wolf and misses Sheep got along so well and loved eachother so much that they got
married. The kids grew up much more disciplined and respectuous and they ended up moving into a much needed
bigger house! Since misses now Wolf, the sheep was now expecting a thirteenth child!